A collection of Jeep jokes and cartoons found throughout the internet. Enjoy.
You know you're having fun when.
1. The coin wash attendant says your jeep is too muddy to use the car wash.
2. You suggestion to take the top down results in your female passenger complying.
3. Your lost and vultures are circling overhead.
4. Your C.B. radio plays nothing but banjo music.
5. Your last lift takes you over the 7 foot garage height restrictions.
6. Your jeep is so mean and nasty looking that other vehicles avoid you.
7. Your jeep articulates so well that your hi-lift jack can't get the wheels off the ground.
8. Your life is preoccupied with finding alternative on-board air storage methods.
9. Your sex life is going downhill while your jeep is going uphill.
10. You've rolled your jeep and you're looking forward to the next time.
11. Your parts dealer laughs when you walk in the door.
12. You wake up one morning with a "jeep thing" tattoo.
Shields down captain.
posted John (76CJ5) on the Quadratec bulletin board
It was sooo nice today I decided to go all the way and put the windshield down.
For all you newbies who are thinking about it, here are some observations:
Keep your mouth shut at all times.
Bugs hurt at 60 mph.
Bugs travel in swarms.
A June bug on your windshield looks a lot better than on your glasses.
Even with your lips clamped shut, a bug at 60 mph can get through.
Spit to your left only.
Gravel hurts worse, and they travel in swarms also.
You thought people looked at you strange when you have the top down? Just wait.
Your hair feels funny when you stop.
Can't wait for tomorrow, I'll be volunteering to drive anywhere.
Army Jeep
During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered another Jeep stuck in the mud with a red faced
colonel at the wheel.
"Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.
"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, " *Yours* is."
Jeep Creed
This is my Jeep, there are many like it.
My Jeep is my best friend. It is my life.
I must master it as I must master my life.
My Jeep, without me, is useless.
Without my Jeep, I am useless.
I must drive my Jeep true.
I must drive better than the Chevy who is trying to pass me.
I must out-drive him before he out-drives me. I will . . .
My Jeep and I know that what counts on this trail is not the
gas we burn, the noise of our exhaust, nor the smoke we make.
We know that it is the driving that counts. We will drive . . .
My Jeep is human, even as I, because it is my life.
Thus, I will learn it as a brother.
I will learn its weaknesses, its strengths, its parts,
its axles, its engine, and its quadratrack.
I will ever guard it against the ravages of weather and damage.
I will keep my Jeep clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready.
We will become part of each other. We will . . .
Before God I swear this creed.
My Jeep and I are the defenders of TREAD LIGHTLY.
We are the masters of the trail.
We are the saviors of my life.
So be it, until victory is AMC's and there are no other 4x4's, but Jeep!
Blonde Jeeper
As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked jeep, the local sheriff asks her what happened.
The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I
swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..."
The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "I don’t know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this
road for thirty miles is your air freshener."
Faith
A flood is expected to wipe out a small town and evacuation is begun. A jeep is driving through town and comes across a guy standing
on his front porch. "Hop in," they said, "The flood will be coming in any minute." "Don't worry about me," the man replied, "I have
faith that God will save me." Unable to change his mind, they drove on without him. Soon the flood waters began to roll in, and a
rescue team drifted by this man's house in a boat. "Hop in," they requested, "We'll get you out of here." "Don't worry about me," was
the man's reply, "I have faith that God will save me." Unable to change his mind, the rescue team continued on without him. Not long
after that, the flood waters had completely covered this man's house, and he was hanging from the chimney. A rescue crew in a
helicopter spotted him and dropped him a ladder. The man refused the ladder insisting that God would save him. Unable to change his
mind, the helicopter went on without him. The water continued to rise and the man drowned. On his way through the pearly gates, he
met up with God and exclaimed, "You really let me down! I had faith that you would save me and look what happened!" "Well let's see,"
was God's reply, "I sent you a jeep, a boat and a helicopter."
A Jeep Addict with 3 Wishes
Signs and Symptoms that you may be a Jeep Addict.
You use a hose to clean the outside and inside of your Jeep.
You take your date home early on a Saturday night so you can work on your Jeep.
You determine that the best route from Point A to Point B is through a rock pile or over a mountain.
You call a scratch or a dent, a beauty mark.
You roll it over and don't get upset.
Your Mom or your sister can't get in without help.
You judge every hill you see by how much fun it would be to climb.
You feel nauseous when you see a RAV-4 or a Chevy Tracker.
You get custom pin-striping from trail brush.
A low-rider Jeep pulls up next to you, and you want to get out and slap the driver.
You pull into the unplowed parking spots on snowy days.
You take your friends wheeling and they say "What trail; I don't see a trail!"
You've been forced to add TJ, CJ, YJ, and XJ to your spell-checker.
You can see OVER a Suburban.
You carry emergency supplies and clothing because you never know where you will end up.
It rains and you don't care that your top and doors are off.
You drive around to look at Christmas lights . . . topless.
You change your plugs in the parking lot at work on a break.
You take your Mom wheeling and she has to help you flip the Jeep back onto its wheels again.
You use an ice-scraper on the inside of the windshield.
You get more heat from holes in the floorboards than through the heater vents.
Every page of your repair manual has greasy fingerprints.
Passengers scream "DON'T ROLL IT!" when you take them wheeling.
You spend more time under your Jeep than under your significant other.
Winter comes and your can't remember where you left your top.
You spend more on car washes than on insurance.
Even worse, the car wash won't let you in.
You fix almost everything yourself.
You feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser or Hummer.
You have all your credit card numbers memorized.
You slam the door and chunks of dried mud crumble to the ground.
You get asked to pick up your co-workers in a snowstorm . . . and get paid for it.
Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it.
You are the only one on the street who doesn't plow their driveway.
You are dating the Service, Parts, or Sales Manager at your local Jeep dealership.
You can't hear your $200 stereo over the howl of your tires on the highway.
You have a high-water mark INSIDE the Jeep.
After your answer to "What did you do this weekend?", the next question is always: "And you do this for fun, right?".
Your criteria for selecting a "significant other" includes auto repair skills--air tools optional.
You plan your wedding around the Club's trail ride schedule.
You save broken Jeep parts as "mementos".
You know the exact story behind every one (see above).
When someone refers to "The Good Book", you think of "The Jeep Owner's Bible".
Your Jeep no longer fits in the garage.
You always have your drinks "on the rocks".
You think that any tire that isn't waist high looks like a bagel.
You can't take a girl, who's wearing a dress, on a date without carrying along a set of steps.
You can't sneak into church late because the engine is too loud.
You know your ring gear size, but not your wedding ring size.
All of your shirts have some sort of grease or oil stains, or battery acid holes, from not planning on working on your (or a friend's) Jeep.
You have a dirt berm at the end of your driveway from the mud that got washed off of your Jeep.
You think that an "airline" is something that connects your differential to your air compressor.
You stop trying to get the dirt out from under your fingernails.
You buy parts for your Jeep instead of food for your family.
You spend Super Bowl Sunday turning wrenches rather than watching the game.
Your e-mail address refers to your Jeep rather than you.
Your garage holds more Jeeps than your house has bedrooms.
You have enough spare parts to build another Jeep.
You have Jeep parts in your cubicle at work.
You have to wash your hands before you go to the restroom.
You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage.
You carry along a replacement part for every drive component on the Jeep.
You can air up your tires without stopping at a gas station.
You're constantly getting passed on the highway.
The Service Department has to let all of the air out of your front tires in order to reach the engine.
Your wallet is always empty!
You want to take things apart and rebuild them, even if they are not broken.
You understand that JEEP is a way of life, not just for transportation.
You have more pictures of your Jeep than of your kids.
You're sitting here reading this while your wife/husband is waiting for you in bed.
